Think twice if…
- Content warnings: War, PTSD, Violence, Sexual assault (referenced), Trauma, Sexual content
Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love
by isthisselfcare
This is the one people cite when they say fanfic can read like a polished novel. Come for the bodyguard premise, stay for Crookshanks-level chaos and a Draco who is down catastrophically.
goodreads 4.56/5 39,982 ratings
storykind_community 4.25/5 4 ratings
Quick fit
Is this story right for you?
A decision-first view of the reading experience.
Length593 pages
Story statusStandalone
Spice4/5 · Slow burn with late spice
PacingMedium
Story profile
What the story promises
The strongest reviewed signals about romance, fantasy, and the reading experience.
Romance promise
- Enemies to lovers
- Male/female pairing (M/F)
- Slow burn
- High
- Slow burn with late spice
- Book hangover incoming
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- Morally gray
- Banter
- Emotional / loving
- Romantic fulfillment
- Secretly soft
- Grumpy sunshine
- Passionate / intense
- Tension finally satisfied
- Grumpy protector
- Mutual pining
- Tension / anticipation focus
- The swoon
- Assassin/spy
- He falls first
- Tension
- Protective love interest
- Anticipation
- Only soft for them
- Dirty talk (sweet/playful)
- Possessive/protective
- Longing glances
- Mine declarations
- Possessive
- Rough/aggressive intimacy
Fantasy promise
- Fanfiction
- Library
- Urban fantasy
- Witches/wizards/warlocks
- Bodyguard/protection detail
- Academy / campus
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- Forced proximity
- Forbidden love
- Secret relationship
- Hurt/comfort
Reading experience
- Third person
- Medium
- Romantic
- Witty
- Moderate
- General badass
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- Humorous
- Banter-heavy
- Bookworm/scholar
- Adventurous
- Sharp
- Career woman
- Swoony
- Healer
- Playful
- Warm
- Page turner
- Comfort read vibes
- Binge read
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Matched by the most important shared story signals, with the tradeoffs made explicit.
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Similar because
Bodyguard/protection detail · Career woman · Hurt/comfort
Different because
It is completed rather than standalone.
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Hurt/comfort · Protective love interest · Grumpy sunshine
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Similar because
Fanfiction · Bookworm/scholar · Hurt/comfort
Different because
A longer read (948 vs 593 pages).
Book details
- Length
- 593 pages
- Language
- English
- Format
- Book